An opportunity to have coffee and cakes with Clarence Mitchell at Knoyle Hall, Brighton - Saturday 31st May, 2pm to 4pm

Knoyle Hall 

• Newly decorated with new toilet facilities
  
• Kitchen with electric cooker, fridge and microwave. There is a basic supply of china and glasses.
  
• A stage complete with curtains
  
• Wooden floor with Badminton court marked out
  
• 100 chairs
  
• Various tables
  
• The facility has a community licence with Brighton & Hove council with a limit of 100 people for any function
  
• Limited disabled access
  
• Toilet for the less able
  
• Saturday evening functions finish time is 11 pm
  
• No teenage parties or discos
  

 

Cherry wrote:Take a doggy bag!   

aquila wrote:Cor blimey guvnor, 5 quid to have a cup of coffee and a slice of cake with a political party who are seeking/relying upon a vote and donations to their funds.

You have to hand it to them for their bare faced cheek. I love the 'ticket' thingy. You have to apply/subscribe to attend. Those buggers aren't just fleecing Joe Public they're asking for your details. You have to pay to go and give your details to listen to them! It's mastery (is that a word?)

Clarrie, dearest, pinkest Clarrie, is this your best campaign strategy?

Will you be 'dressing down' for this event? I quite liked the arranged photo shoot of you in your posh fleece on the 'streets' of Brighton and Hove. You were so 'with it' whilst looking completely out of place. I'm warming to you as you are dedicating yourself to stray dogs and parking problems. I do hope that enough parking spaces are found for those eager to give a fiver to grace your presence and I hope that leftover cake is given to the stray dogs (although it now seems your Party hates sugar and it's the root of all evil).

Clarrie, I'm concerned about your wardrobe here. What will you wear? Will it be a stuffy suit? Will it be a 'get down with the kids sort of thing'? Will it be a compromise and a casual suit jacket over jeans with an open neck shirt? It's good to avoid wearing a tie as it can be misconstrued.

Poe wrote:http://www.brightonstjohn.org.uk/knoylehall.html


Knoyle Hall 
The Knoyle Hall is situated in Knoyle Road adjacent to the church and is available for occasional and regular hire. The main hall is 13m x 14.6m and has the following facilities and restrictions:

• Newly decorated with new toilet facilities
  
• Kitchen with electric cooker, fridge and microwave. There is a basic supply of china and glasses.
  
• A stage complete with curtains
  
• Wooden floor with Badminton court marked out
  
• 100 chairs
  
• Various tables
  
• The facility has a community licence with Brighton & Hove council with a limit of 100 people for any function
  
• Limited disabled access
  
• Toilet for the less able
  
• Saturday evening functions finish time is 11 pm
  
• No teenage parties or discos
  

NEW TOILET FACILITIES!!!!! That's worth a fiver in itself!

Bit disappointed about the no disco. Could just see Clarrie doing a John Travolta 

 

Cherry wrote:I take it not suitable for any swinging parties then!  


I wonder if the Police will be sending in the dogs to check out the venue before he appears!  

ultimaThule wrote:A convoy coach party would seem to be in order.   Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.     

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Rasputin wrote:

ultimaThule wrote:A convoy coach party would seem to be in order.   Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.     

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

  
We could all  go dressed as " The phantom McFlann flingers "

ultimaThule wrote:A convoy coach party would seem to be in order.   Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.     

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

bobbin wrote:

ultimaThule wrote:A convoy coach party would seem to be in order.   Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.     

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Oh uT, that will really scupper his plans.
Now that he's not being paid so much from the Fund he was reckoning on this as his pension pot.
He's already worked out that he's not going to get into Parliament where the trough is constantly spilling over so his calculations went thus:-

One hundred seats at £5 = £500.
Do this one thousand times and I'll have what the McCs got from the paper = £500,000

Minus costs of course:-

£0...Got the hall for free, just by advertising the badminton court and shiny loo seats.
(pity the access has been disabled a bit, but someone else will have to put that right some time).

£0...Cakes donated by Women's Institute in lieu of a change in the law (brought about by myself when I get elected) to lift the 'home-made jam embargo'.
£0...Other cakes retrieved from the Food Bank (Glad I was entrusted with the key to unlock it before the doors were swung open to the starving public)

£0...Tea Bags recycled from the bins outside Smokey Joes (hmm, funny smelling tea... a bit 'sharp'.)
£0...Milk, (Old Mother Riley's cow... not that she could see me in the dark round the back of the milking parlour)
£0...Sugar, (pocketed a whole trouser legs worth from McDonalds...well they can afford it, they make enough profit and probably don't pay their taxes)
£0...Cups and plates are already here.
£0...Labour costs, loads of simpering old biddies offering to make the tea properly...amazing how the old girls rush in if you make a right horlicks in the kitchen.

Final sum.

0 + 0 + 0 etc. = 0.
Take 0 away from £500,000

Total £500,000  = an honest days work for a ludicrously nice guy like me.... I know I deserve it.  

plebgate wrote:hee hee love the comments on this thread.  

Coffee and Cakes, no thanks but would love to see a bun fight.        Come on down opposing candidates, now is your time to send along a few friends and ask some questions.     

@Poe, love the John Travolta disco dancer.        

Portia wrote:

bobbin wrote:

ultimaThule wrote:A convoy coach party would seem to be in order.   Don't worry about the fiver entry fee - I know a formidable matron of Tory persuasion who'll have no problem blagging half a dozen in and those in the 'advance party', as it were, can open the back door so the rest of us can get up close to the main attraction.     

We'll need to take food; eggs, tomatoes, and custard pies?

Oh uT, that will really scupper his plans.
Now that he's not being paid so much from the Fund he was reckoning on this as his pension pot.
He's already worked out that he's not going to get into Parliament where the trough is constantly spilling over so his calculations went thus:-

One hundred seats at £5 = £500.
Do this one thousand times and I'll have what the McCs got from the paper = £500,000

Minus costs of course:-

£0...Got the hall for free, just by advertising the badminton court and shiny loo seats.
(pity the access has been disabled a bit, but someone else will have to put that right some time).

£0...Cakes donated by Women's Institute in lieu of a change in the law (brought about by myself when I get elected) to lift the 'home-made jam embargo'.
£0...Other cakes retrieved from the Food Bank (Glad I was entrusted with the key to unlock it before the doors were swung open to the starving public)

£0...Tea Bags recycled from the bins outside Smokey Joes (hmm, funny smelling tea... a bit 'sharp'.)
£0...Milk, (Old Mother Riley's cow... not that she could see me in the dark round the back of the milking parlour)
£0...Sugar, (pocketed a whole trouser legs worth from McDonalds...well they can afford it, they make enough profit and probably don't pay their taxes)
£0...Cups and plates are already here.
£0...Labour costs, loads of simpering old biddies offering to make the tea properly...amazing how the old girls rush in if you make a right horlicks in the kitchen.

Final sum.

0 + 0 + 0 etc. = 0.
Take 0 away from £500,000

Total £500,000  = an honest days work for a ludicrously nice guy like me.... I know I deserve it.  

Dear Bobbin, you miscalculate yourself:

500.000 in your own reckoning would amount to a Thousand Days, wouldn't it?

That's pre-supposing 1000 electioneering days, right?

Will the Tories really last that long?

Will they outlive CM's hearty efforts?

Cherry wrote:j.rob I'd love to see a massive banner of Eddie and Keela