Eddie to sue South Yorkshire Police for unfair dismissal

Eddie, the well-known cadaver dog, is to sue South Yorkshire Police for unfair dismissal, following claims made in a secret government report that he was 'not up to the job'.

It is the first known case of a dog taking an employer to an Employment Tribunal.

A government report, published by SKY NEWS earlier today, stated:

"A South Yorkshire Police spaniel called Eddie was said to have sniffed out the 'scent of death' at the Haut de la Garenne children's home in Jersey and the apartment from which Madeleine McCann disappeared in Portugal. But in both cases nothing more was found and South Yorkshire Police say Eddie is no longer working with them".

Eddie is to be represented by Mr Terrier of Bone, Eatitt, Diggitt and Buryitt, who issued the following statement earlier today:

"Eddie has a track record of never falsely alerting to the scent of a human cadaver. His handler, Martin Grime, will be giving evidence at the Tribunal. He alerted to 10 places in Praia da Luz connected to the McCanns but to nowhere else in the village. It is being suggested that although Eddie may have correctly alerted to cadaver scent, the cadaver scent may have been in those locations due to secondhand furtniture, sat in by dead people, having been placed in the apartment. Eddie's job is to detect the scent of a corpse, which we assert that he did, not to analyse how the scent got there. Eddie finds the accusations against him ludicrous, hurtful and unhelpful. The dismissal is manifestly unfair".

It is understood that as a result of the decision, Eddie has missed out on a wide variety of nutritious and energy-giving dog biscuits and has suffered losses of the daily amount of Pedigree Chum he was used to.

Mr Terrier said: "His standard of living has undoubtedly diminished, and the way in which this has come out on SKY NEWS has been humiliating to him. He is unlikley ever to recover from South Yorkshire's decision. The claim will be for 4 years' supply of all the dog biscuits and other privileges he used to enjoy at South Yorkshire, and we'll be asking for two hundredweight of tins of Pedigree Chum as exemplary damages".

A spokesman for the McCanns said: "As far as we are concerned, we are going on the assumption that Madeleine was abducted; at least, that is our working hypothesis. We are currently working on credible leads that Raymond Hewlett's son Wayne burnt a letter giving details of a gypsy gang leader who stole Madeleine and a basketball-playing Angolan bouncer who has information that a paedophile gang smuggled Madeleine to the U.S., although we remain convinced that Madeleine is in a prison lair within 10 miles of Praia da Luz".

Madeleine was nearly four years old when the McCanns reported that, during a check on the children at 10.00am on 3 May 2007, they 'knew instantly' that Madeleine had been abducted.

John Doasweretold, a spokesman for South Yorkshire Police said: "We accept that Eddie was employed by South Yorkshire Police under very favourable terms and conditions, but have asked the Tribunal for a preliminary hearing at which we will ask for the case to be struck out on the grounds that we do not believe that Section 5A of the Employment Protection Act (EPA) allows dogs to claim unfair dismissal. It would be inappropriate to comment further at this stage".

Under the EPA, dismissals may only take place for reasons of misconduct, incapabillity, redundancy or 'some other substantial reason'. It is understood that the decision to dispense with Eddie's services was made on a review assessment of his 'capability', following a request by Prime Minister Gordon Brown that South Yorkshire Police take immediate action following the 'complications' Eddie caused in the Madeleine McCann case.

Haha brilliant Tony,

Eddie is to be represented by Mr Terrier of Bone, Eatitt, Diggitt and Buryitt

Excellent, lets hope Eddie wins substantial damages

Tony

Totally Brilliant Tony

If I was the handler, I would want to sue in some capacity though. They have tried to trash all the hard work and reputation of Mr Grimes with those amazing dogs.

That was hilariously brilliant! Whatever happened to Keela?

Dont the mccanns have to worry about Keela too - afterall Keela worked in tandem with Eddie marking blood on exact spots Eddie marked cadaverine?

Eddie's lawyer Mr Terrier of Bone & Esquire should demand for 1.2mil euro x 4 years because they deprived him of his right to peaceful living, right to his good name/reputation, and right to his gourmet lifestyle.

Eddie should also contact:

Both Tony's spoof and Zodiac's video are very witty. Thanks.

Great article! I didn't realise at first that it was based on an official report to explain why Eddie's findings were rejected despite his proven reliability in other cases. We can now add the second-hand furniture scenario to the McCanns' list of unbelievable explanations (corpses at work, nappies, sea bass etc) as to how there was evidence of a death in their apartment.

Hi Jean,

and

Thank you Candyfloss; it's good to feel that I am among friends. I know well from my contributions to other message boards that simply pointing out the many inconsistencies of the McCanns' story can lead to the foulest
personal insults. I look forward to contributing to many topics here.

Jean wrote:Thank you Candyfloss; it's good to feel that I am among friends. I know well from my contributions to other message boards that simply pointing out the many inconsistencies of the McCanns' story can lead to the foulest
personal insults. I look forward to contributing to many topics here.

I've just learned via another forum that poor old Eddie died earlier this year.

Jean wrote:I've just learned via another forum that poor old Eddie died earlier this year.

For Eddie. Your spirit has gone back to our Creator to rest.